When I was in the hospital for 33 days, somewhere early in the experience, I had a dream. The night (or day) this dream came, I woke up out of the coma I was in, in an ICU room and was totally disoriented. A young man in scrubs was in the room. So I asked him where I was and why I was there. He smiled at me and walked out of the room. I wanted to scream but what actually happened was I fell back into the coma for several more days.
It was at that point this dream came. In the dream, I was walking in beautiful green countryside and came upon a very dilapidated mobile home. I went inside into a living room , very tired, looking for a place to lie down. I found a fold-out couch bed and laid down on a worn, very dirty mattress. The only pillow on it had straps on each side. These straps turned out to work like chinese handcuffs. Soon both of my hands were trapped. About that time the man I had seen in my hospital room came into where I lay all tied up in the old pillow. I asked him to help me get loose. He looked at me and said ” no, the reason you are going through this is so you may learn restraint and submission.” There the dream ended.
Later, out of the coma and coming back from death’s door, as I began to regain my health, I asked the Lord what this dream may have meant. This is what I heard in my spirit. “Mike, how many people have you known, who leave there house at 7:00 am only to drive across town, park in a lot, walk half a mile into a building, and work in the semi-darkness for 40 years, until they are old and can live out there days in some kind of retirement?”
My answer? Many Lord- yes people who got married, raised children, paid the mortgage, and put food on the table. Working men and women, people I had spent my life pastoring and ministering to. So I again asked Him, “but why do I need to learn this lesson? I have also worked hard, even as these have?” “No, Mike,” he said “you lived these 40 years in a world where however hard you may have worked, most of the time you were free from the restraint these people lived under every day. Yes you worked hard ministering to the people, but you didn’t know the pressure daily schedules create for people. You were led by My Spirit, but if you wanted time off, you often had no one to seek permission from but Me.”
So now I go to dialysis 3 times a week for 5 hours or more. That’s the first thing on my agenda on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. 11:00 am until 4:00 pm! and yes I am beginning to understand and learn. Until God manifest a healing in my kidneys, my life depends on this. Restraint? Submission? Yes, I am finally learning life lessons my calling and the way my calling was conducted never afforded me. I hope I will be a better man and servant of God because of it!!